The Easter Post

  
I am a lot of things. I would say that I am guilty of being very human among humans. I am very much a flesh of a person. When I’m mad, I’m mad; when I’m happy, I’m happy. I am kind, I am loving, and I do my best to do what is right but no where along the way have I even felt holy or worthy of sainthood. I’ve never felt compelled to spread evangelism, I’ve never believed that making people agree with me would make the world right, and I’ve never felt I am more right or worthy than another person. I’m stubborn, fleshy, and hard headed. When God made me i assume he said “oh me. What have I done” I am flawed, I am beautiful, I am a mess, I am perfect,I am imperfect, I am loving, I am unloving, I am forgiving and unforgiving. I am all of these things rolled up in one. 

There are 4 times in my life that God has brought me to my knees. 4 times he boomed a cannon inside my chest and stopped me in my tracks of life. 4 times he solidified the molecular space that surrounded me and made it so heavy it was impossible to lift my head so he dropped me to my knees. He was Demanding that I acknowledge him.  And I do. These are defining moments in my life. Moments that bring physical and metaphysical altogether in perfect harmony and perfect reasoning. 

Today, on this Good Friday, I feel a sucker punch heartache for the death of Jesus. It’s one of those out of nowhere, all of a sudden realizations of what actually happened on the cross. The definitive end. The understanding of the price that was paid. 

I also feel a thankfulness that I can’t quite put into words because it’s too big for my puny human mind to understand. And although my mind can’t find the words, my heart does. My heart feels a thankfulness that doesn’t quite fit into any box of definition. And that is ok because sometimes we don’t have to have a Webster definition for the world to make perfect sense. 

Matthew 19:6

One thing I like about the Internet is all of the made up holidays. I love any reason to celebrate the things that are beautiful and sacred in life. This week it’s “happily married week” or something like that. And anyone that is close to me knows how our marriage is heavily guarded because it is our most precious gift in life. Now I’m not going to go into our whole story but it’s pretty amazing and you’ll just have to trust me on that. 

We have been together for 13 years. We’ve been up, down, and all around. We have LIVED!! We have traveled so much and seen so much of the world that it’s hard for us to relate to people. Traveling the world, experiencing life, and different cultures often gives a person a different perspective on life and the world. I wouldn’t trade our experience for anything. I’d do it all again 1000 times!

We have been each other biggest supporters in life. When we grew up and decided to have a different life we dug deep, did the dirty work, and kept pushing each other forward. It’s a hard thing to move ahead. You have to let go of people, habits, and lifestyles that keep you from growing forward toward your goals but we always count on each other. Through all of lifes changes we have remained each other constant and because of that our faith and love conquer every battle we’ve had to face. Team work. 

My husband and I are best friends, each other’s favorite comedian, biggest supporters, cheerleaders, protectors, prayer warriors, and life changers. Our marriage is a blessed gift and is so much more than just being husband and wife. We have said from the beginning that God planned this Union. And HE knew exactly what he was doing. So here’s to my Ride Or Die, My Love, My #1, My Rocky Mountain High. 

 

“Our whispers are contagious enthusiasm for each other” 

   
    
    
   
Matthew  19:6 

Ky mo(u)rning

With each sunrise There was a new death. 

The lifting of the heavy lids 

Burning fire in every beat

It pumped on while my existence slowly, one second at a time, evaporated into fumes of smooth dancing amber.

No reawakening. This is my death. My life.  

It belongs to me

It is mine. 

And I have shit to say. 

So I say it.